Total Pageviews

Tuesday 14 June 2022

440. A good friend wrecked an expensive new washing machine. Boris Johnson wrecked Britain. Difference? My friend feels bad…

 These things happen – to everyone. At least once.

With the kinds of young monsters that produce washing every day (otherwise known as children), my friend always knew he and his wife would run out of luck with their old and too-small washing machine. That day arrived a week ago. Further repairs seemed nonsensical and the painful decision was made to finally purchase a new machine with a larger drum load.

The machine arrived. My pal did the necessary, his wife gratefully loaded up a full wash.

HOWEVER, the transit bolts were not removed – as per the very evident and oft-repeated instructions. 

Now, my friend is a very capable person and understands machinery far more complex than a washing machine. It was one of those crap oversights that could happen to anyone who is working hard full-time in a relatively new job and having a few sleepless nights with a new baby and the normal trials and tribulations of a young family. Having said that, his wife is also tired – obviously - and juggled all the logistics of out with the old, in with the new while doing the run-around after all the kids. So, not a happy situation. The machine broke FULLY LOADED. It may be fixable it may not but the warranty is void...

They both felt terrible. The time. The waste. The stupid mistake. The hassle. The waste. The cost. THE WASTE. And so on.

Now.

Boris Johnson has wrecked Britain. Admittedly he didn’t do it on his own. The anti-working class rot set in with Thatcher and the sell off of the family silver (privatisation). 

Blair moved things along mightily with the illegal invasion of Iraq, global destabilisation, mass migration, growth of international terrorism yada yada yada - who cares - give the guy an honour. 

Clegg and Cameron also helped with an increase in tuition fees (introduced by Blair) helping to ensure that no working class person could compete on a level playing field with their privileged set. Cameron pig-head-fucker actually landed Brexit and then it was fast downhill from there with May (who also gave us the racist ‘go-home' vans and the nasty environment for immigrants when she was Home Secretary) helping boost racism ready for the mad sad bad Brexit yobs who took over after the 2016 vote. 

But – yes – with his more bare-faced lies and lack of any interest at all in anything but himeself – the top spot really has to go to Johnson as Wrecker-in-Chief.

Dishonourable mentions also go to others.

Matt Hancock dished out contracts worth millions during the pandemic to people who couldn’t provide the PPE they were paid for. What he enabled used to call that profiteering.

Priti Patel, current Home Secretary trying to send vulnerable folk to Rwanda where – according to one Tory commentator – the cost to the UK tax payer will exceed what it would cost to put these people up at The Ritz. And she is a vicious ignorant bully.

I wont go on as the dim and the dimmer are legion.

They feel nothing. Certainly not embarrassment or despondency or any sort of pain at their own catastrophic mismanagement and negligence. They certainly do not feel sick at the waste. But then, they are not wasting their money. They have plenty. They are flushing OUR money down the toilet. They don't feel bad. They feel nothing.

*

Do remember to check out my adult novels, comedy writing, children's books and poetry anthologies here My BOOKS

And remember there are videos to go with my kids' poems. Fun Poems for Children all shot in my attic during the first lockdown.