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Tuesday 15 January 2019

294. Brex-Zit. If you’re not embarrassed, you should be…


Yes. The big Brexit zit on the face of Britain is still there. 

We may have hoped it would go away over the too short winter break of the Christmas / New Year holiday but it hasn’t. It is the result of eating, not sugary fatty foods but the unwholesome stodge of xenophobia, stupidity and populist soundbites and the horrible zit is unlikely to be lanced by the vote scheduled in Parliament today. We will, instead, like a greasy muddle headed, self-centred teenager – just end up with a messy, infected sore on the face of UK democracy.

A world habitable by humans moves exponentially closer to the precipice while Britain throws time, money (ferry contract anyone?) effort, media obsession, passionless posturing, exasperation and exhaustion into the pointless but cavernous Brexit pit we dug ourselves into.

Prime Minister May is still pretending she has a deal that makes sense to anyone.

Corbyn still has not let us in on the secret of what he actually thinks about Brexit despite the best endeavours of Emily Thornberry (should-be leader of the Labour party) and Keir Starmer (shadow secretary for exiting the EU) and John Macdonnell (shadow chancellor) to come out and pretend to everyone that he has. 

Macdonnell and Corbyn see the current mess – which, as I’ve said many times on this blog, Corbyn was, by his ineptitude and prevarication and confused thinking, complicit in – as their chance for another General Election. I presume these two old farts think they will then ride off to Brussels a couple of hours before the deadline, explain to the 27 remaining countries that they too actually hate Europe in a stuck- in-the-1970s way, not really understanding modern work practices – but could they please have a better deal than the one given to Theresa May?

I wonder how that would go?

Despite the enormous amount of time and effort it has taken for Boris Johnson to contribute to wrecking Britain he has, apparently, found yet another woman to shack up with… He’s still lying his head off while she, presumably, is lying back and thinking of Little England.

And the craziest thing – apart from the way the Scots and the Irish were conned out of a hopeful future by English Nationalism - is that those, dizzy and blinded by the dusty, destructive windiness that is Westminster, seem to think the rest of the world has not been watching every mean, miserable moment aghast.

The idea that the countries formerly exploited by Britain are not now sitting in bemused judgement on us, like young adults watching a senile bullying old uncle slavering into his incontinence pants, is so naïve as to constitute raging insanity.

 But the world is watching this car crash. The world is appalled that a wealthy nation with everything of its own resources and all that it has gained from the rest of the globe over the centuries, should be squandering what other countries can only dream of and we really, really ought to be embarrassed…

Check out my comedy poem on this subject
African Journalist in Britain.