Scottish land reform shame and why we need the EU
(or maybe Mugabe?)
Up here in the land of blue faces, sporrans and men
who wear skirts, land reform has been a big deal for a long time (I mean 100s of
years). Sadly, the Scottish parliament turn out not to be Bravehearts.
A Green Party proposal to outlaw offshore ‘ownership’
(estimates suggest that around 750,000 acres of Scotland are ‘owned’ in
offshore accounts) has just been rejected by a Scottish National Party majority
in Holyrood. And if they cannot be radical during their honeymoon period, history tells us they may never.
The aristos are being mean and the peasants are revolting, the leaders are dithering. Where is Mel Gibson when you need him? Oh yeah – he’s in rehab from being a misogynistic, anti-Semitic git.
Right thinking Scots feel they’ve taken a Claymore
in the gullet as Holyrood side-stepped this chance to take a long overdue move
towards land equality.
My dear bleaders (blog readers) may do a double take.
Lairds getting their own nasty way? The masses cowering? You may ask yourself,
‘am I reading Browngirls’ blog or have I stumbled on a manuscript from ye 1600s
written on sheep guts by yon scribe?’
Of course not being one of the aristocracy (or male)
I would not be writing at all. I would perhaps be talking to a kindly clergyman
who is writing this down by light of a stinky tallow candle while ye olde rats chew our
toe nails in exchange for me washing his undies on a rock down at the river’s
edge hoping not to get ravaged by marauding white walkers – (oh no that’s Game
of Thrones sorry) while my husband picks tics out of the sheep with his cousin’s
second-hand wooden teeth.
Having been victim of the droit de seigneur (which I
don’t think every actually got to Scotland apart form in Braveheart) my eldest
boy looks a wee bit like the duke and is also a total bastard. But my other
bairns – with their deformities and nits and rickets and plague boils are real
sweethearts and catch rabbits and collect dry grass for the fire in our hovel – apart from
the one that was hung for steeling dung….
I mean bloody hell.
If like me your geography is a bit crap – let me
tell you The Cayman Islands (there are three) where the duke keeps his chunk of
Scotland, are situated a bit south of Cuba and a bit North West of Jamaica.
They don’t wear tartan in The Caymans but obviously have a nasty history with
slavery. Maybe that is why tax-evading Scottish feudal lords feel at home
there?
Basically, faced with the proposition that they put
an end to this fiscal farce and centuries of exploitation of ill-gotten gains,
the Scottish Parliament DIDN’T. Maybe Uncle Bobby Mugabe should have a word
with Nicola? I don’t mean the starving your own people, political repression and using public funds
to buy yourself a millions dollar birthday party yada yda yada – just the
getting rid of the nasty greedy land thieves thing.
When the bogey man of ‘legal challenge’ was dangled,
the politicians in power (!) turned and ran with their yellow bellies
showing (actually that doesn’t work as an analogy because you would see their bums
if they were running – but you get me). The particular selfish bastard (I use
the term bastard advisedly in relation to the Duke Beccleuth) has approximately
240,000 acres of Scotland registered in the Caribbean. Even I know that
Scotland ain’t in the Caribbean.
And this is a global problem. Maybe it’s not fair to
expect Scotland to start the ball rolling on something that requires major untangling.
Many of these havens have their own registered banks and Oxfam – for one –
reckons these banks hold TRILLIONS of dollars of individuals’ wealth, much of
it accumulated from tax avoidance and other gross behaviour (that's a tax joke by the way).
Ask yourself this, with the world in the state it’s in – what kind of person uses a tax
haven because they have more money than they know what to do with and don’t
want ANY of it going to fund hospitals, roads, schools, provision for the
elderly or disabled, in the country THEY LIVE IN?
And back to the current Euro sideshow - we need a
body the size of Europe to tackle this pandemic cancer, eating away at the
planet’s resources. Is it too crazy to suggest that UK property must be
registered in the UK, French property in France, German property in Germany and
so on and so forth?
Sentient Scots hoped that early legislation would pave the way to substantially fairer land policy. However, last
Wednesday 16th March, the day Osborne delivered his latest Viagra
budget (I’m no good at this but I’m all
pumped up so I will just keep on and on and on…) the Scottish Parliament
rejected proposals which would have made this particular type of massive tax
evasion and humongous Scottish CON illegal. What a sad day for ordinary people
– another one…
SHAME