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Tuesday, 23 February 2016

175. Boris Johnson Solitaire, Sturgeon Blackjack or Trident Poker?


IN short –four months of Boris Johnson playing with himself to entertain a lazy press or the SNP betting on the dealers hand to see if they can shortcut to another Scottish referendum or stuff that needs our attention now.

Cameron proclaims the EU referendum as the big decision of our lifetime because he thinks he’s found his legacy moment and he really got off on striding round Europe buoyed by reports of his late night/early morning meetings with other ‘important’ people. It will all sound good for his post-PM speaking engagements. And the Oligarch / tax-avoider owned press play ball. Mayor Bad Joke himself defaced all the front pages on Monday morning (one can only assume there was something in London’s water in 2008 apart from chemical waste and recycled hormones). 

You can bet your life it will be indolent two-tone journalism all the way to June 23rd. More interviews with immigrant-phobic Farage-ites - yum.

You know from blogs like 37 Oh Go on Scotland or 71. Scotland is a Strawberry Tart that I voted for OUT up here but bloody hell – what is the SNP leadership doing giving the dishonest non-too-subtle message that Scots can get a second referendum through Brexit? They think they are playing Blackjack and betting against the dealer but it looks like Russian Roulette to me.

Brexit or Brin (!) will make little difference to ordinary people other than an out vote would lead to the mother of all on-going administrative nightmares. It just is not the issue of the moment. It’s fiddling while the globe is engulfed in a towering inferno. For Britain, the Trident question (just for example) matters much more now and way into the future.
Renewal estimates for the big T now range from £30 billion to £50+ billion. We know – up here in Edinburgh with the recent tram fiasco - that whatever is quoted will in the end look like chicken feed. And it won’t do what they said it would…

(by the way - If someone can explain to me what a billion even is I’m open to a tutorial)

Even someone who seriously gets high on the whole war and shooting and killing people and destroying places thing must see that Trident is the ultimate poker game that no longer has workable rules. For a start you can’t bluff the new breed of nutters.

In our recent past those who spoke in favour of Trident said that Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD – yes indeed) kept the world ‘safe’ from the Most Assured Destruction we ever came up with. Even they must acknowledge that things have moved on just a wee bit.

Nukes are a poker game. Global Nuclear Poker was based on the vital similarity of the players round the table – despite how they portrayed each other for the benefit of a gullible public. Everyone knew that the other was not going to press the button. It was ultimate testosterone machismo stalemate (yes I know that’s Chess – gimme a break).

What Cameron has been at in Europe, for the benefit of the Right Wingers in his own party, is village football where the spiteful spoilt brat threatens – yet again – to puncture the ball if he doesn’t get special treatment. Boris is not playing any sort of team game. He is playing Solitaire.

Back to something that matters – does anyone really think that the new uber terrorists or psychopaths like Mr North Korea (I’ll have my uncle killed because he didn’t clap loudly enough) are playing by the same rules or any rules? They ARE the jokers they ARE the wild cards. There is no bluff which would work in a nuclear bake-off with them. Bay of Pigs played with little Kimmy would lead to a lotta over cooked bacon.

Meanwhile, conventional forces are downgraded and automated and phoney wars are played out on territories far far away for ever more convoluted ends and we cannot tell from one day to the next who the politicians have designated as the enemy.

The only thing to do with Trident is to point it squarely in the direction of a suitable tax haven and let it go (after warning the maids, gardeners and other servants to get-the-hell-out like they do in those silly action movies where bystanders don’t get hurt. Yeah right. It’s ALWAYS the bystanders who get hurt).

Then we look around and see how better to spend £50+ billion.

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Now – you may not have a spare £50billion or even million or even £50 but if you go without about 2.5 cups of coffee this week you could afford to buy my humorous sortofautobiography and then with the proceeds I could go out for a coffee.
Maybe I’m not A Pigeon

Is (amazingly) still available… 

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