The moronic, xenophobic, destructive, entitled, delusional neighbours from hell, about sums it up.
If listening to Theresa May’s latest call to the EU for co-operation fried my mind with the crazy contradiction then David Davis’s assertion that Brexit would not lead to a ‘Mad Max-style dystopia’ almost caused me to lose my moorings.
Each time matron May or dim Davis or gargoyle Gove or bonkers/racist Boris or rancid Rees-Mogg open their mouths, it seems this is as mad as it can get – but it never ever is.
In May’s ‘Road to Brexit’ speech in Germany she calls for special cooperation on security and says
“The challenge for all of us today is finding the way to work together, through a deep and special partnership between the UK and the EU”
The call for this co-operation sounds plausible and genuine and serious and statesman-like and all the other rabid illusions we’re now used to. However, in order to listen to this without going insane you have to blank your mind to the fact that we HAD a special partnership and the UK unilaterally crapped on it …
The road-to-Brexit this government is on involves sitting in a car powered by paranoid delusions and falsehoods. We are steered by double-speak into a narcoleptic state usually only seen in those at the mercy of synthetic cannabinoids.
But as the last few strands of sanity hang by a thread, a horrible image manifests. On the positive, it reassures me I’m not mad – at least not as mad as the Tory front bench or our so-called opposition (any time Jeremy Corbyn wants to announce the Labour Party’s actual position on Brexit we are all waiting…)
The EU is like a neighbourhood that pulled itself up by the bootstraps after a long and hideous history. This history included wars and slaughter and poverty and various monarchs and other ‘leaders’ waging war – usually at the extreme expense of the lower orders. There was all the usual stuff to contend with – plagues, famine and pestilence and general not-good stuff. Then after two attempts at annihilation 1914 - 18 and again in 1939-45 with a little help from Nature (flu epidemics etc.) oh – and a bit of genocide – the neighbours finally decided they’d had enough. They’d rather have good lives for future generations. They set up a sort of neighbourhood watch; not the sort where you just put a sticker on the window and peep out occasionally when a car alarm goes off – but a proper one to do with co-operation - a ‘deep and special partnership’ you might say.
The neighbourhood started to look up. There was co-operation. Houses improved. No fights in the neighbourhood. New people moved in and things changed but basically it was ok. Yes there were the whingers and whiners who thought they could have a better front door or a bigger garden or if things reverted to the way they never had been in their 1950s fantasies but on the whole they were told to shut the fuck up and be grateful things were a lot better than they had been.
A privately educated racist called Farage with a pint in his hand and help from some other posh schoolboys who think politics is a game you play in the 6th form common room and a non-existent opposition - conspired to persuaded the family of whingers and whiners that they would be happier if there were no rules about straight bananas. That family decided to trash their house – wreck it – dig up the garden – smash the windows including the parts that belonged to a family who did not want the house trashed and a couple of adjoining properties. They are the neighbours from hell and they wrecked things for the whole neighbourhood.
Now they are going round each of their neighbours asking for help to put their house back together – they don’t really know how or why and don’t have a plan for rebuilding or any idea what their repaired property should look like and they are trying to make out its everyone else’s job to work all that out - their argument runs thus -
You have to help us and be nice to us and let us have ALL the benefits we had before we trashed our house and caused upset in the neighbourhood because otherwise the neighbourhood will just be crap with this big eyesore right here…
And that’s where we are right now.
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