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Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Blog 87 My Richard Branson date. (Plus – Vodophone are stalking me!)

Today – Tuesday 10th June - yikes!

Well – to be exact – I am meeting a sales rep at the virgin media shop in Edinburgh to discuss the hitherto unheard of possibility of yours truly – PANTS sufferer (see blog 53) getting home internet access.

If truth be told the pressure is on from daughter no.3. Said teenager has done happily without TV for the whole of her life and much other modernity that her contemporaries feel are essentials – but lack of internet is becoming a bug bear. Plus she seems to think I promised this as a sop to uprooting her to a new home (I do not recall!)

My worries are many; microwaves all around me for one. Possible invasion of mind altering viruses via said waves. Alien attack through my laptop. Though I half suspect my little third-hand Toshiba would implode if such thing were attempted. It sometimes packs up if I type too quickly – as if in protest at the unseemly haste. I think I have a computer with a Jane Austen complex!

But add to my internet-less-ness my soon to be mobile phone-less-ness and things start to get tricky.
A couple of weeks ago I cancelled my Vodophone contract. To be honest – it was an awful contract taken out in haste at phones-4-u. Many an ear-bashing have I suffered at the hands of daughter no.1. Much tut-tutting and sighing and rolling of eyes and ‘why didn’t you let me sort it out-ness’ was endured by me, leading to a feeling of a certain lack of dignity. Anyway – after months of dreadful bills I rang to cancel. The effect – as I am sure you will know if you ever did such a thing – was that suddenly everyone who worked at Vodophone wanted to be my bestist friend. They still do. I keep getting phone calls from zesty young people who insist of chatting to me as if we are bosom buddies – all first names and smiley voices and howz-the-weather-where-you-are?? It’s a bit crazy in a not nice way. And all they want to know – by the way – is why I am leaving. When I say it’s because the contract’s been rubbish they try to sell me a contract MORE expensive than the one I am trying to escape from, on the basis that they are doing me a favour and it’s a much better deal. At which point I wake up screaming – or wish I could.

SO anyway – I cancelled - though I am still getting Vodophone phone calls and texts like a really horrible stalking ex-boyfriend situation.

My new flat has Virgin wiring. SO – thinks me – maybe I should check this out. I’d even heard rumours that one could get a land line without the horribleness of having to have anything at all to do with BT (see the BT [and other]cartoons by going to the posts in ‘view my profile’ in the right hand column).
So I hauled my techno-phobic butt into the shop on Hanover Street, with some trepidation I might add and also with a sore shoulder. I was lugging a cheap self-assembly bathroom cabinet I’d just bought from Argos in a bag that was made originally to carry a dragon egg (ok that’s a loooong story for another time). There I met a very nice sales rep – though I am aware that they are always nice at point of sale. It’s what happens afterwards that counts.

But the deal sounds do-able. The broadband / mobile phone package seems suitable for a penniless writer though I may have to forgo the landline for now – albeit that it was a fraction of what BT charged and if owt went wrong they fix it for free. Free mending stuff sounded like the most marvellous idea to me until I recalled that that’s how it should be and how it was BEFORE BT was privatised and started putting huge charges on for doing things they used to do as part of the service.

Anyway – I digress – as almost always.

So – back to the shop, undaunted by the really embarrassing RBran ad that seemed to be constantly playing. Surely SURELY someone at Virgin is going to tell Rich that starring in ads for your own company is like doing the dad dance at weddings or loudly singing along with Away in a Manger at your grandchild’s school nativity play!

I’m very nervous. The 21st century does not suit me. I’m not sure the 20th did either. Anyway, let’s see how this brown girl encounter with technology turns out...

This week’s recommended blog from the archives is;

Blog 49 Dog Pooh in Scented Bags!

1 comment:

  1. I was thinking when SHE got you to agree to Takeaway that you'd not be keeping a track of all these deals. SHE is a clever girl! Methinks you have been had. Good luck with the access.