Having
had a fun Love Libraries evening with the good folk of Leamington Spa who
braved the awful weather on Friday – I found myself on Saturday with thankfully
little to do. Fully detoxified from TV, it can be mind boggling, strangely
fascinating and disturbingly compelling to spend a few hours just gawping at
the box (flat screen!).
The
tone of most advertisements is a frenzied hysteria of images which, for the
disconnected, often makes it difficult to work out what is being promoted.
In
the 80’s it was keep-up-with-the-Joneses. The 90s urged us to get-stuff-or-be-out-of
step. The 00s went for the jugular; surely-you’re-not-the-CHUMP-who-hasn’t-yet-got-this?
But the current crop of commercials with orgasmic glitz, subtly undermining
stereotyping, guilt-tripping and norm-bending surely gives sane folk headaches.
On the one hand they’ve become even more aggressive but they also assume an
astonishing level of gullibility. In this second decade of the 21st
Century, the ad men seem to feel they can rely on a slavish desire to fit in
while playing to each person’s delusion that they are distinctive. In a nut
shell they are selling mass uniqueness to the unaware, unquestioning, rabidly acquisitive,
insecure, consumer.
It’s
hard not to be grudgingly impressed by the way marketing companies have
persuaded the populous that it is normal to change sofas almost as regularly as
their pants (and in general change stuff long before its worn out) – so that
you can show your individuality through your choice of mass produced furniture.
Really?
Do
people believe that picking one lump of metal on wheels over another will distinguish
them and/or render them blissful and admired as they watch TV drivers manoeuvre
through a pastel toned Utopia of clean gleaming
streets? Invariably they are in a car that ‘reflects their individual
personality’. That’ll be why they all look basically the same then.
And
do people not fall about their living rooms when they see cute, healthy, bright,
engaged, non-obese, funkily co-ordinated children looking adoringly up at their
pretty mothers while they are fed chocolaty processed cereals for breakfast?
Are
people who look as if they still have taste buds fooled by brown dust with
boiled water just because the actors who drink it on the telly smirk madly and
roll their eyes? Don’t they realise someone out of camera shot is massaging
their feet or they’ve just been told that if they hold it down they will get
some real coffee when the shot is over?
Who
believes that breaking the bank to take your kids to some nightmare plastic
theme park packed with folk who have too little imagination to plan a proper
holiday and pay to stand in queues is fun?. Much better than a hose-pipe and
paddling pool in the garden I suppose. How ignorant we were in the 70s. Who
really believes it will stop their daughter turning into a teenager? Disney is
NOT a cure for hormones.
Gambling
will not make you happy or sociable or a fun person with the occasional large
pot of dosh to throw around; it will do THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
Spending
money on branded pop foods will not make your kids love you.
Buying
a particular phone or app or any gizmo gadget will NOT morph you into David
Beckham.
Your
house is so dirty that it stinks! Does anyone really think that plugging in
chemicals that heat up to smother the unpleasant natural odours with unpleasant
unnatural odours is the answer?
Dogs
don’t need gourmet food.
Play
clothes don’t need to be surgically clean.
Women
who coo over their cleaning products should be locked up.
Personal
Injury lawyers don’t give a shit about you and sometimes accidents are your own
fault.
Pull-ups
are just NAPPIES and children that big shouldn’t be wearing them.
Supermarkets
do not save you money. They encourage you to waste food.
Even
if it is with the aid of pet insurance, spending £6000 on vet bills for a pet
is obscene.
No
amount of makeup will make you look like THOSE women. They aren’t ‘real’.
Just how stupid do they think people are?
Next
week possibly the hijab. The news that a woman is to be banned from veiling her
face in court because people need to see reactive facial expressions is
fascinating. I presume they will also be banning Botox, facelifts and
face-fillers?
A
BIG THANKS TO THE 8K BLEADERS WHO READ THE FIRST 50 BLOGS.