232. Corbyn – ‘Shuffling Shit Shaper’ – seems to be the Opposition Leader’s Election Pitch

Yes. Corbyn promises to tweak the mess…

Oh and give us extra bank holidays. In offering to end zero hours contracts and strengthen union representation – he does at least aim to counter the ridiculous Miliband dissociation from the workers’ movement that birthed the party. Let’s face it – that was like a feminist group saying they would distance themselves from women. But all in all, it’s too little, too weak, too muddled and way too late.

 ‘I’ll make the shit smell a bit better’ – seems to be Corbyn’s offer to Britain.

That is the Liberal’s line too – the party that propped up the Tories and sold a generation down the toilet with their colossal deceit on tuition fees. But Labour is supposed to be the official opposition. In reality, they haven’t been for a very long time.

Yes – the UK is having a General election – or if you observed the sudden verve and energy and enthusiasm (from everyone apart from the electorate that is) it’s a ‘general erection’ for politicians who’d rather be posturing than running the country.

I mean – isn’t that what elections have become? They have morphed from real democracy into pseudo mob rule. The first-past-the-post voting system has caused political constipation in the UK for decades. Folk who spend too much time watching soap operas and reality TV, panic vote following the latest nonsense stories about immigration, while politicians get all pumped up with fake passion. And JC is doing just that. He is zealously proposing to close the barn door after the horse has bolted and the barn has burnt down. He is going to furiously fiddle round the edges. He’s made really (almost) impassioned speeches about how big business will quake in its boots if Labour get in. Can you hear the rustle of bank notes as the wealthy scrabble about for their millions of unpaid taxes? Can you hear the squeal of brakes as all the banks, fleeing the UK, respond to Corbyn’s inspiring tones about a better economy and about turn? No.

This is the party that couldn’t even elect a capable woman leader (for once) when it had the chance – even though it would have sent out almost the most positive message the party could muster. JC continues on his Blairesque ego trip – the people need MEEEEE. And that nasty little war criminal Blair is sniping from the side-lines, like none of this has anything to do with his legacy, inviting voters to cast for other parties if they think it might get them a soft Brexit – as if he can deliver some sort of political pooh softening laxative – it’s STILL SHIT.

Even the moolah-monster Mandelson is pitching in with his horrible cadaver sneer at the writhing zombie of the Labour party he helped to poison. It’s too awful. But being complicit in the status quo is not the answer.

It’s clear why Theresa May is doing this. Many observers (me included) regularly refer to her as our unelected Prime Minister – which she is. The woman who campaigned for Remain now wants to stamp on dissenting voices so she can take us hard over the Brexit cliff and she has looked across at the opposition front bench and concluded, now is the time.

I have the greatest respect for many left wing commentators and genuine Labour activists who are energetically calling for unity. Quick – let’s paper over the cracks – again. Swallow your misgivings, they say, and support Jeremy because the alternative – a stronger Tory government – is unthinkable. One real argument for voting Labour in your area might be to keep out the UKIP slime but I think Paul Nuttal has already done that job.

Unfortunately, the UK is now a tanker without enough room to stop before it hits the Brexit rocks. (NB Labour is – today – finally – laying out some sort of plan for Brexit) A Labour victory would simply mean that Labour would be at the helm when the smash happens and there would be even less incentive for the root and branch change required if the party is not to become extinct.

I’ve tried to sit through some you tube videos of Corbyn interviews (thank god I don’t have TV) and all I can conclude is that those ludicrous, dithering, fumblings where you can see the cogs slowly grinding, is Corbyn thinking – ‘… how would I answer this question if it really were 1975?’

Following Theresa May’s the-breaks-have-gone-on-the-car victory on June 8^th there must be one very significant resignation on June 9^th – that of Jeremy Corbyn. Then Labour can begin the job it should have started after Blair hollowed out the Labour party or when Miliband set out confusing everyone – rebuilding and actually planning for the next real election in 2022.

Between now and then - God help us.

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See also -

blog 50 - Ed Miliband – Political Semolina

blog 107 – Labour’s Gift to the Tories – Again!

blog 135 - Kim Kardashian and Ed Miliband – I told you

231. Erdogan? Turkey literally voted for Christmas…

What is the attraction of the 21^st century's mini Hitlers?

With the Turkish referendum going Erdogan’s way (as I guessed – see last week’s cartoon) we have to ask ourselves – WHY the world has such a penchant for these mad men. The fat stupid type Hitlers – Kim Jong-un; the plain nasty ones – Duterte and Assad and the pig style Hitlers – Trump e.t.c. 

On a lesser scale why do people actually vote en-masse for self-harm (yes I’m thinking Brexit)…

Now we watch nervously to see if the French are going to go down the same sewer with Le Penn.

In the UK, the phrase ‘turkeys voting for Christmas’ was used in relation to the vote to leave the EU. But at least turkeys – the fat flightless birds - go to make a sumptuous meal (if, unlike me, you eat meat). But why are people voting for meanness? Why are people voting to have their rights taken away? Why are people voting for less kindness, less freedom, less humanity?

These are rhetorical questions. I do not believe there are logical answers. Yes these monsters appeal to the lowest denominator. Yes they appeal to fear and prejudice. But are there really more stupid scared people in the world than good people?

Where does letting these inadequate, spiritually ugly men take over the world get us? Kim J-u and creepy Trump couldn’t decide who won the bad hair competition so they’re using weapons to see who is the biggest idiot.

Let’s face it – if you were playing ‘whose the person you’d least want to be stuck in a lift with’ it would be a tough choice.

Kimmy has had top brass executed (including an uncle who didn’t clap loudly enough) and Donald put American servicemen’s lives at risk by openly saying America should go after Middle East oil while troops are trying to organise peace and co-operation on the ground. Oh and with the Muslim ban.

Both would rather spend their country’s wealth on weapons than on health care or social services and they are both unhinged - need I go on?

The only thing is that Americans had a choice as did the Turkish - the Koreans didn’t – so Kimmy is easier to explain than Trump and Erdogan.

Erdogan wants to re-introduce the death penalty. Trump, who can’t spell – has no morals – is a bully, a misogynist, a sex pest - doesn’t know if he bombed Syria or Iraq (while eating 'beautiful cake'). He is a spiteful brat who is repealing Obama legislation just because it was Obama legislation. I mean – what kind of guy reverses a ban on pesticides proven to cause brain damage in children? What kind of lunatic reverses legislation to make cars more efficient AFTER that legislation has been accepted by the industry?

One of Trump’s main campaign pushes was that he is such a great business man. Many people, conned out of money to go to a Trump university, successfully sued him. He couldn’t make a success of casinos in Las Vegas, the gambling capitol. And one of the reasons that he is in hock to Vlad the Putin is because he ran out of people to borrow money from following business failure after business failure.

Why does a man who vowed not to get involved in ‘other people’s’ conflicts use a weapon costing (and this is an average of the various prices put forward) $16million per unit? We are told the weapon killed 36 – (or 92 depending on whose guesses you are using) and 300 metres of tunnels. Really? That is a lot of money to kill very few ‘baddies’. It sounds like very, very poor ROI.

Then we were told it was not about the Afghan hit – it was about sending a ‘message to North Korea’. And you have to worry about a bloke who can go from tweets to MOAB in one step. Frankly the tweets were better value. They were free and caused easily as much damage as the multi-million dollar bomb.

As Erdogan dreams about state murder and opposition detention, is Trump flicking through the military catalogue poking his stubby fingers at pictures of weapons and asking some square jawed buzz cut ‘what does this one do?’ and ‘can I have a go?’ like he did with that truck at the Whitehouse – ‘Oh please let me press the horn’.

The fat stupid spoilt spiteful bloater babies are in charge of Armageddon and the combination of fear and ignorance is like chucking a petrol tanker into an active volcano.

But I still don’t get where these shits come from. Is the devil running a factory where these men are churned out like the Orcs in Lord of the Rings? Is there an army of them ready to mess things up whenever something good gets a foothold? Or are they just always there, in the background, ready to take over whenever stupidity, self-interest and meanness reach a zenith?

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230 A little bit of death…

…as Trump plays with his new war toy.

Last week, in an attempt to divert attention from the ongoing car crash of his own administration, Donald Trump indulged in a little bit of death in Syria.

Pundits and commentators – who insist on behaving as if he is a real person – commended his actions. Frankly – if you are a psychopathic murderer like Assad – wealthy, unopposed, unchallenged by your rich neighbours and your country is the centre of the latest war games played out by the world’s current crop of delinquent, personality disordered leaders – it must seem like your birthday every day.

Assad’s latest atrocities allowed human sewer Donald Trump to indulge in a little bit of death. Not only is it a great way to distract from the political carnage at home, it’s a fabulous way to stage a fake disagreement with Russia as the investigation into the Trump election campaign’s links to Putin fail to go away. And while the people of the Middle East continue to suffer and suffer and suffer – Trump is flown, on Airforce1 between his new pad – the Whitehouse - his golf courses and his holiday club Mar a lago where he happily exposed sensitive government information in public.

Dump both echoed and crapped on the Obama position on Syria in 2012. This side of the pond where all energies are – and will be for years to come – mopped up in the cold, mouldy sponge of Brexit (see last week’s post) – there was some fawning over the American attack. Which is odd – because it was the 2013 UK Parliamentary vote – lost by David Cameron (then PM and architect of the BREXIT debacle) that sealed the fate of action then. As the consequences of the 2003 invasion were still evolving, no one dared look head on at Syria. Congress refused to back Obama which meant the US could not follow through against Assad when Obama wished to. Odd because Blair was able to follow the war monger and idiot – G. W. Bush into an illegal war with no basis the decade before. Once again, we have to say that the consequences of the illegal 2003 invasion are long and wide and deep and will continue to skew international reactions for the foreseeable future.

Weirdly, everything seems to be coming out opposites at the moment. The situation shows the UK is already irrelevant on the world stage – the total opposite of what the Empire mob who rode the BREXIT horse into a ditch wanted. Trump – in dabbling with a bit of death in Syria - has alienate the only people who really supported him – the extreme right-wing white supremacists.

And while the UK Eton twonk, former Mayor of London and our racist Foreign secretary Boris Johnson jumps on the Trump bandwagon – the former head of MI6 and permanent secretary to the UN John Sawyers believes – and I agree – Trump is also posturing for North Korea (the other country with a spoilt brat leader with bad hair). Yum.

To add irony to injury, immediately after the US strike – Assad’s planes were able to take off from the very air base targeted by American missiles.

As the other miserable conflicts continue – overshadowed by the Syrian mess – Ukraine, Yemen, South Sudan, Iraq etc – the spoilt rich boys carry on chucking bombs from the safety of their privileged life styles. The worry is that Trump may have enjoyed playing his new war game and the US / Russia proxy war in the Middle East spreads to be the real world-war we dread.

And who pays the price for these global war games started by inadequate men with small personalities, distended egos and bad hair? Always, always, always – innocent civilian men, women and children…

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See also blogs; 43 - Killing them Softly 172 – Syrian Pogrom and 200 - Suffer the little children – again… (Syria)

229. Article 50 is funny – isn’t it?

Especially from up here in Scotland. I’m surprised we’re not calling it ‘our-tickle-50’. Apologies if you are reading this on translate – that pun won’t work… a bit like BREXIT.

You can almost hear the canned laughter.

Seriously – this is a farce J.B. Priestly would have envied.

Like many voters, the Scots were totally conned. Among other lies, they were told – the ONLY way to stay in Europe was to vote NO in the Independence referendum in 2014.

Then David Cameron – in his Eton schoolboy fog of misplaced confidence, shining inadequacy and poor judgement called an in/out EU referendum. He decided, gambling with Britain’s future was the way to deal with the Empire mob in his own party. And just as when Tony Blair, hanging out of George W Bush’s arse, went into Iraq – there was no post-mess, post-mad-decision PLAN. Not even a few scribbles on the back of an envelope.

Interesting to mention Blair here following the destabilisation of the Middle East. UKIP – the UK Independence Party – exploited the fear of refugees fleeing war, migration and an explosion in (sorry for another pun) global terrorism – to hijack the EU referendum with the blunt, amnesia-inducing instrument of Xenophobia.

Augmenting their lies and racism, the Leave campaign used the opposite arguments they’d advocated in the Scottish referendum, to rattle a poorly informed public.

The Leave campaign won – and then rubbed our noses in it by admitting, the day after the vote, that one of their biggest, loudest lies was – well – a big loud lie - ha. How amusing, how jolly…

Then Farage skipped off to play with Trump. Cameron exited swiftly and without a backward glance.

Now our unelected Prime Minister Theresa May – who was a Remain advocate – is turning out to be the most brittle of Leave practitioners. So, was she a flimsy shit then or is she a flimsy shit now?

And the merry-go-round whirls crazily on to a jangling, painful, discordant tune. Suddenly EU citizens who have been settled here for decades, do not have security. The Prime Minister refuses to exclude them as pawns in her negotiating. And as her hand is so very very weak – pity them. And last week in the madness whipped up by the racists a young asylum seeker was set on by a mob and was beaten nearly to death and ex- Tory leader – Howard started sabre rattling over Gibraltar. All this before negotiations begin.

The new UKIP leader Paul Nuttal, is everything you would expect from that party. Stupid, dishonest, attention seeking, stupid, a fantasist, stupid, boring – oh and did I mention STUPID. Farage’s media gimmick was that he was an ‘ordinary bloke down the pub’ and he was regularly pictured perched on a bar stool with fag and pint. In fact, Farage is a privileged and wealthy ex-stockbroker who went to an exclusive private school where the staff didn’t like him because he was too racist. But Paul Nuttal actually is the wanker down the pub. He is the bloke everyone tries to avoid and who they pretend they haven’t seen if he tries to catch their eye. He is the guy glad-handing anyone who will give him the time of day as he spews his girly, whining, clichéd speeches and re-hashed unoriginal phrases.

Theresa May’s Article 50 pronouncement itself was comedy. There were references to the close union she wants with Europe – the co-operation on security and trade etc. A newly landed Martian could be forgiven for thinking she was pitching to GET IN to the EU.

In this hiatus of crazy, I cannot begin to explain what happened across the pond. Trump - the alpha male – with no alpha and a parody of masculinity – is simply shitting on America like a delinquent baboon. However, here in the UK, it is more obvious what happened. Mediocrity triumphed. From the Prime Minister who is every inch the 6^th form head girl who got in because the student everyone wanted got caught sniffing glue behind the bike sheds to a lack-lustre, out of touch public broadcast organisation. Still the BBC is dancing, like an arthritic auntie, trying and failing to be relevant and shuffling three steps behind – well - everything - paid for by everyone!

Apart from the general national mess – there is an important similarity with the US - the nasty people were given huge amounts of free prime-time media coverage which, in the US, has been admitted. Here, UKIP were shamelessly platformed by our public broadcaster the BBC.  Way, way back I wrote about the BBC promoting ‘Hitler lite’ (see blog 111). Well – now the internet – via twitter is finally cottoning on and picking up that UKIP – despite not being able to hold a single seat in Parliament are given endless time on the BBC – including the BBCs flagship political discussion programme - Question Time. It is lower than slap stick farce. The BREXIT / Article 50 show is more garish than a juggling, unicycling, farting clown with a bent neon foghorn.

I mean – come on – I know Trump is no longer funny – but surely Brexit is. And Article 50 is hilarious - isn’t it?

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You may also like these related blogs from the archives -

117. Get Those Darkies Back In Their Box

152 Could the Nice People speak Up Please

165 The Penisic Era