… can I have a refund?
Boris Johnson became leader of the Conservative
party (and hence Prime Minister) in July 2019 – shoe-horned in by a few old white
blokes down south who keep the Tory
party going in-between golf and jingoism and being detached from reality.
Then it was summer recess. Then he illegally prorogued
parliament. Then he called a December election which kind of stymied any real
activity and then it was Christmas.
After Christmas he declared Brexit ‘done’ and we
were all ordered to shut up about it. Then he was busy being cagey about the daughter-age girlfriend Carrie Symonds’s pregnancy while he sorted out divorcing his latest wife
who gamely complied despite being in remission from recent cancer treatment.
Then we had the pandemic and Johnson’s response was
NO RESPONSE but he did go around shaking hands and not wearing a mask with covid
patients in some mistaken fantasy that he was a born-again Princess Diana at an
AIDS benefit. And then – of course – he contracted covid and we were all
supposed to feel sorry for him because he had the disease he was happy to let
thousands of care home residents and NHS workers die of while he did sod all and because he’d become a
father again for the ? time.
And now he’s just basically AWOL – always. Though he
was suddenly very visible and able to do a bit of Boris into a microphone and
bang on rather energetically, albeit for a very short burst of time, about the singing
of Rule Britannia and Land of Hope and Glory at the Prom.
Does Carrie Symonds give a rousing, rendition of
Rule Britannia to get the PM going in
bed?
It’s a joke that isn’t a joke really.
If I got some piece of crap from amazon that didn’t
work they would give me a refund.
Boris Johnson doesn’t work.
I want a refund…