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Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Blog 135 Kim Kardashian & UK elections – I TOLD you...

I wanted to write about the RIDICULOUS parade known as the Met Gala after a friend emailed me some pics. But then I thought – as I blogged about this result months ago – it’s only polite to tip a nod to the UK election.

But I can have my cake and eat it, which is always good. There is a parallel. There were, at the US freak show, women without proper clothes on and here in our general election were a whole bunch of people who wouldn't acknowledge that the emperor was wearing no clothes. (OK it’s tenuous.)

Lots of non-pollsters including yours truly saw it coming. See – for example - blogs
50. Ed Miliband – Political Semolina
88. Off with their Eds
107. Labour’s gift to the Tories (with BGOTR equations for the avoidance of doubt)

But everyone in the media was surprised.

So – to the Met. Usually I am spared these flesh fests as I don’t have TV don’t buy magazines and don’t follow celebrity ‘news’ but in the interests of humour and feminist despair a friend sent images. Wohooow. And there before me – grown women dressed like Christmas trees in outfits that looked as if they were designed by demented three-year-olds gone crazy with a glitter pen and the contents of the bottom of the craft drawer.

And somehow there seemed to be lots of glitz and gauze and spangle and dazzle but without, in some cases, leaving much flesh actually covered. Some feat.

Put some flippin clothes on for heaven’s sake. From one brown girl to another –have some self respect.

Ok – I get that Kim is just there to be gawped at but Beyonce honey you can SING. WHY?

I don’t see the guys parading about in gold lame jock straps.

And that is what we get with politics. Lots of flashy statement and nothing to hide the desperation underneath. Sound bites while having no core, no principles no backbone is like having the sequins and gauze without the tits the arse or the voice.

OK – politically – what I am saying is we want the tits and arse not just the sequins... So that analogy fell apart spectacularly. Hey ho.

Clegg got what he deserved. Hopefully his party, as well as the electorate, now despise him. The Labour party got what they were always going to get but in the process let the British people down so badly. Farage not getting elected was way less than he deserved but hey – pushing someone in a pile of dog crap and letting the flies at him is possibly illegal?

But re the election results I have to say (and it is never elegant to do so) -
 I told you so.
I TOLD YOU so several times on this blog. And I don’t get what was so difficult to work out.

So if you want my advice (and why would you), Kim and Beyonce PUT SOME CLOTHES ON. Labour party – if ever there was a time to stop trying to dance to the media tune its now. Let Harriet give everyone milk and cookies and don’t play into the hands of sensationalist journalism by holding a leadership contest immediately. Let folk have their time of mea culpa and set a date for a leadership ‘event’ in 18 months time. Some surprising options may occur. Who knows, Chuka Umunna may grow a personality, the membership may come up with some good ideas. Chill.

And would someone PLEASE shut Mandelson up or hit him with a large, wet, slightly warm, dead, rancid, mackerel.

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